Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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