How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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