My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
