I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
