So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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