DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
