why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
