You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am naked and annoyed.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize