Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
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