If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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