So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
