I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
