I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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