She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
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IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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