Did you just see the Batmobile???
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
