She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
