Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
