i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
