Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
