Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
