i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
