I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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