i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
