hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
