Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
