I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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