I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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