What a fucking waste of an outfit
Don't make out with my wife yet
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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