Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
