I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
