Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You were trust falling into bushes
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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