If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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