Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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