I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
