hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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