please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
