what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
