I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.