i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out