question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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