it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize