I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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