So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
