All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
4 words: hood of his car
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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