We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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