I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
