The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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