Don't you send me to vm
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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