I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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