Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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