her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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