I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
