If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
