the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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