3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
