if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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