Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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