New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
