I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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