I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
