its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
