Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
