: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My penis needs a shock collar
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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