worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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