Barsexuality is the new black.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
