It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
