worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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