So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
